I think sex can be based on lust, which implies a lack of self love and a lack of fondness for the person you are having intercourse with. Some women like their partners to treat them badly as a result of sexual abuse and addiction. I believe that we need honest communication with ourselves and others if we are to achieve getting all our needs met with someone. Orgasmic thinking is disgusting and perverted and should require counciling in my opinion. If there is nothing psychologically going on between you and the other person why would you be crazy enough to engage in full on bodily contact with them. Playing around with fire is only a gateway to other problems so I don't recommend being being a loose cannon or a target for target practice. Pleasure are not this is how we differ from animals.
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